how do you climax?
I always feel so sad when I open my DM’s to the message…
“Ive been married for 10 years and I don’t think i’ve ever had an orgasm.”
I get a message just like that at least 4 times a week. The more I dive into this topic with my instagram friends the wider my eyes are opened to that gap in women’s pleasure. The movies we see depict sex that feels good for men, the christian literature we read never mention a woman’s pleasure and porn (I don’t need to elaborate on that)
Many of us “purity culture” girls were taught that our bodies were shameful. Feeling aroused should be snuffed out by shame and repentance but this feeling doesn’t go away when we get married. So many women are walking into marriage unprepared for how to feel free during intimacy.
Lets get into it & then i’ll share some stories from women where they share exactly how they reach climax.
There are so many factors that go into pleasure in the bedroom but today we are just diving into the physical aspect. First and foremost we have to understand our anatomy.
Your anatomy is not embarrassing and it was designed to like and enjoy sex.
Understanding our anatomy helps us grasp what areas are bringing us pleasure. Understanding how the different spots work can help you and your husband piece your “puzzle of pleasure” together.
side not: masturbation
If you grew up in the church its possible that you’ve never touched yourself (masturbated). If you grew up in the church its also extremely possible that you touched yourself every night and then walked around with a load of shame as heavy as a blue whale. Id love to take a moment here, just know that many other women just read this and got a knot it their stomach. Its extremely hard to be a hormonal horny teenager; its also hard to feel that way and not have a single person you can go to and openly talk about what is going on with your body. I hope that you can forgive yourself and start breaking the feelings of shame that are attached to sex.
back to our honey pots
alrighty that all felt so formal. Lets get into it. First im going to share some stories from instagram friends
I love how she points out that directly stimulating the clit is too much! It took me a long time to figure out that rubbing above it and sort of pushing it down was better for me! Try it out! Three flats fingers in a circular motion above and over the clit.
This second entry brings up a great point! Going into intimacy and stressing about the ending will take away the fun of the journey getting there. Really give in and explore all parts of your body as well as his. Change positions & experiment! Some of my favorite advice I was given was “It gets better every time”. This is why I think a monogamous long term relationship is so hot!
Love this one! YES, open up the conversation about your intimacy often, it doesn’t always have to be mid gig. I like to casually bring it up at different times (this helped me get rid of the embarrassment aspect) I tell Shane what I like and what felt good or what I like doing to him. Its so sad that we feel nervous to talk to our spouses about it but when we were trained our entire lives that this was dirty it makes sense why we feel this way.
Talking openly and honestly with other women can have such a positive impact on our mentality towards sex. This is the first mini journal entry with so many more to come. You guys are the best and I am so glad to be learning with you. Hope you have some hot steamy sex with a happy ending tonight haha
